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It all started when my pal Paula asked me to figure out why she wasn't getting a response to her JDate ad. " What I get is that we all want to be loved for exactly who we are. " It wasn't long before news that I'd taken Paula's profile from drab to fab spread far and wide (okay, a couple of people in Brooklyn heard). I've seen the dumb, the dull, and the klutzy; the bitter, the brazen, and the too cute by half.
I've got a number of brilliant, beautiful, frank, funny friends, all capable of remarkable things, but writing an enticing online profile does not seem to be one of them. Some people offer their services in soup kitchens, some volunteer to shampoo crude oil off of sad, gooey pelicans; I rewrite online dating profiles.Insisting that a potential date be fit and in shape is fair, if you're fit and in shape. Open Hearts and Minds You go to the head of the line when your profile displays an open heart and an interest in personal growth. Last But Not Least No one is universally desirable, but if you present yourself thoughtfully, your odds for success increase exponentially. He chronicled 25 years working with men in Act Like a Man, his book that explains how to move men beyond their intimacy issues in relationships.While opposites may attract, my dating experience jibes with nearly every expert's advice: Such relationships rarely work. A positive, wholesome attitude reflects good self-esteem, and youthful enthusiasm suggests that age is just a number for you. Your Passions Express your passions as activities you'd like to share. Whether your passion is sailing, going to concerts, taking road trips, cooking, dancing, attending sporting events, motorcycling, playing an instrument, singing or engaging in any other activity that makes you smile when you talk about it, write about that passion in a manner reflecting how it would feel to share it with someone special. Travel Instead of listing every place you've visited, pick a favorite and shoot an imaginary film of it with someone special. My movie is strolling arm in arm with a sweetheart along the tree-lined Seine on a sunny spring morning, the Musee d'Orsay Impressionists, a late lunch at a sidewalk cafe and an afternoon of lovemaking. He has written about relationships for the Huffington Post. Headshots work, but a potential date also wants to see the rest of you. And a photo without an accompanying detailed story is likely to preclude anyone from selecting you thoughtfully. Attention to Detail While I notice a woman's photo first, I also enjoy reading her story describing her 50-plus years of living and loving life. And there's no excuse for spelling or grammatical errors. What to Limit Your political attitude, while valid, need not be intolerant. Ken Solin is an author, lecturer and blogger who writes on the topic of families, relationships, dating and more from the perspective of a 50-plus. Have a friend take photos, and don't wear sunglasses or a hat, or stand in shadows. It suggests a lack of interest in the whole dating process.